What can I do if my Child Hates School?

To add to post 47: For those of you who believe the reason your child doesn't like school or is failing at school is because they have a learning difficulty or ADHD or something else, then maybe you should think again. I am not saying these don't exist. Read John Holt and Peter Gray. They believe that we need to stop asking what's wrong with our children and start asking what's wrong with our system.

By freeing our children from the curiosity-killing institutions we call school, we can allow them to take charge of their own education where they learn to solve problems, get along with others, become emotionally resilient and thrive in today's ever changing world. Unschool them now!

For those of you who hate school or have children who do, then don't carry on sending them there. If it's that bad, they will not get a good education from it and they will be very unhappy and unmotivated by the time they leave. Everyone knows this is true but they still send them. There is an alternative.

Don't just homeschool them -- Unschool them. Look it up and do some research, because if you do, amazing things will happen and your children will absolutely love you for it and you will all be happier. They can get an amazing education that is right for them by Unschooling. Another great alternative to this is the Sudbury Schools. Names to look out for are John Holt, Daniel Greenberg, Peter Gray and Sandra Dodd.

What can you do if your child hates school? Home educate.

School is also a prison for certain children. When I was younger, I could never sit still, never show my work in math (losing several marks). I had extremely poor spelling, but the teachers and learning disability testers saw nothing wrong with me. I had a high average and tested average on the tests (if you call grade 9 answers for some, and pre K answers for others, average in grade 3). It turns out I did have something wrong. I was dyslexic. As a matter of fact, I had some of the same problems as described in other posts too. Try and see if the child is dyslexic, and if so try the training. I can guarantee it helped me more than you could know.

My son is 15 and he has always disliked school, but these last two years he has been kicked out of classes and suspended so much it is affecting his learning. He has a learning disability and it's becoming very stressful. He comes home angry, but after a couple of hours of being at home, he's OK. Should I try home schooling?

Like many of you parents and even students who have posted, our day to day lives can be miserable! I agree with post number 8. This article is kind of useless, but it opened up a conversation so I guess that's something.

My son is 16 1/2 years old and is just now nearing the end of his freshman year. He has hated school since the moment he set foot in preschool. All his years in public schools have taught him how to cheat, lie and manipulate.

When he was in Kindergarten, we were told by his school to take him somewhere and have him tested for a learning disorder. We did. Of course, he was diagnosed with ADHD. His father and I were confused because he isn't hyper. He was actually very lazy. When he was younger than that, he had a speech issue but had since grown out of it. It took us a long while to correct his speech because he never wanted to put any effort into anything.

He was put on Stratara and had an IEP set up at school. I noticed a positive change in him. He wouldn't get as bored with things as fast, so I thought this might have been the thing that could improve his performance at school. The IEP was a freaking joke. He learned really fast that if he just said "I can't do it," they would do it for him.

The only reason my son was passing school is because he had a fleet of teachers eating out of the palm of his hand and doing everything for him. When he was challenged -- finally -- he would get embarrassed when he couldn't comprehend something right away and developed a "I don't give a crap" attitude. He would cover his paper and pretend to do it rather than do it. He wouldn't even turn it in and a few days later when it was finally discovered by the teacher, he would act like he didn't know what happened to it and he turned it in. Then they would dump his desk and find it in a ball in the back.

The assignments he did turn in were of such poor quality. Even when it was something fun, like write about your Christmas break and draw a picture, he would draw a stick figure -- literally. It had nothing to do with Christmas and it would say, "It was cool. It was good. It was fun." He never put any effort into anything.

In the fourth grade he started becoming violent. We took him off the medication and that settled for the most part. In fifth grade, we send him to a private Christian academy. He always enjoyed learning about God. I just worry if it was for the right reasons. For the first semester, he was on honor roll for the first time in his life! I even have the newspaper article framed to this day. After that, when things got harder and he was going to have to actually try, he went back to trying to manipulate the teachers and it wasn't long before he was no longer welcome.

We've moved to several different schools. He's been bullied, had his clavicle broken, he's turned to bullying others, etc. The manipulation that started so early got worse. Now, in middle school, he was plagiarizing, even ripping pages from books and claiming he typed them. When he stole another child's report card, he tried to forge it to look like his and got busted. Then, “Mr. I now rationalize everything to talk myself into believing I'm perfect” ran away. He was only gone for eight hours, if that. When the cops found him, he lied to them and didn't care. That was the last straw for me.

Throughout his entire school years, we were hands on parents. I was at the school every Friday to make sure there wasn't something else I needed to be doing to help him succeed. The school hated me and saw me as a nuisance and the teachers would openly talk about me. I was even asked by a principal to stop coming because, “They had it covered.” Then why was he failing? Later on, in middle school, I was told, when I'd call to set up meetings, that the teachers had too many students to focus on my son.

We pulled him out of school and home schooled him. We didn't go with a free public one but a Christian-based, accredited academy. I was concerned about his diploma being overlooked if he got it from a freebie homeschool thing.

He has improved immensely. The first year was not bad at all. It is still a constant fight to get him to do it and I have to be right behind him every moment. Things are set up so easily and it is all at his pace. He gets to do it again if he messes up, always ensuring good grades! Awesome, right? You would think... But he would rather fail than take something again. He's said he would rather be sent to a long term boot camp because he is under the impression they wouldn't make him get an education.

He has both parents. We spend lots of time doing recreational things and he has youth group and friends when he isn't on restriction for not doing school. He has a very good home life compared to most. He's now added lying and screaming in his mom's face to his list of outbursts over school. I'm at the end of my rope.

@anon71318: What you can do is take him out of that school and put him into another school.

To tell you the truth, I can kind of relate with all the posts above. I hate school with a passion and I'm only 14. I think some of these are some of my reasons.

I have a good group of friends but I always feel so alone.

Our teachers pile homework on us. They don't know how much time it takes for me as I am always trying to do my best. This causes me great stress as I feel my life consists of school and nothing else.

I also hate the way it is in my school that, if you listen and try your best, you're considered a 'nerd.'

I also hate how I feel so self conscious in my school because I wear long skirts, etc. I feel like people are whispering about me or laughing.

I feel like the teachers don't notice me. I think because I'm quiet, they don't see any potential in me and it makes me have low self esteem.

The school I go to revolves around sports. I do take time to participate in basketball and hockey, but my real passion is performing arts, which isn't even offered in our school. I asked my parents if I could move, but my mum says I would feel like this in any other school too, but I highly doubt it. I just want to leave the place and never go back.

I'm a high school student, freshman year, and I hate school. I like to learn, but school limits my abilities and in a way prevents it with things like stress from tests or homework. I like to learn new things and to research new topics, but when I realize that I have to make it stick in my brain for that test or quiz next week, it makes it pretty tough. I don't have any problems socially and get along with a lot of people, even if they aren't necessarily close to me, and the teachers and staff are all really nice.

I had a few classes I might have disliked but I learned to cope with them and don't mind anymore, but the main problem remains. I still hate school.

I just dislike the fact that I have to get up in the morning and actually GO there. I haven't been able to find any kind of reason whatsoever as to why I hate school so much.

It's not stress or that it's a new school because I was able to adapt very quickly. I don't know if it's the fact that I have to go there, or that I have stay there, but I just hate that place and I just can't figure out why. I have tried many times to find the reason to my hating school. Do I have a problem?

I am a sophomore honors student and I really hate school. I get six hours of homework from school every da,y so even when I'm at home I am still in misery.

My parents become upset with me even when I get Bs in my classes, and I greatly dislike my extra curriculum activities. But, if I left honors, I would miss my friends and I wouldn't be challenged at all. My father would be very disappointed in me, even though I'm already college accepted.

Also, the majority of my teachers label me as their least favorite student because I'm the only African American in honors. I am fine socially, but I despise the teachers and academics.

I hate my school, because I wear black and all of that, and my life was hard. I can admit to cutting myself, I'm sure you get it. But anyway, my classmates call me names and talk about me because of those things. I miss so much school because of it.

And when I actually show up for classes, the teachers give me more and more work because of the days I was gone. Right now I'm failing every class except for maths. And I'm terrible at maths! Please help me!

I'm a sophomore in high school and I can't stand it. I transferred from my old school to this new one because I got tired of going to a school close to my home, wearing a uniform and I wanted something new. That was a huge mistake! Now I'm in a new school and I hate having to get up extra early in the morning to travel super far, wearing regular clothes because you have to pick a new outfit every day and I don't know anyone in my new school. I feel so alone and sad in school.

I have been missing a few days because I begged my mother, but now she said I have to go and she's helping me through it. School also gets worse when it comes to keeping your grades up. I am such a great student but now in my new school, my grades are dropping and I don't know what to do. I can't wait to graduate! My mom always tells me that school isn't my life; it's just a place to learn and get the heck out. All I have to do is do well, stay focused and get the heck out of there!

I'm going to graduate and as long as I have my mom, it's going to be okay, I know it. Everyone goes through this stuff, so don't feel alone people! Well, good luck to all and you can do it!

A teacher said this 8 year old student shouldn't attend school at all because he doedn't listen to her, but he is smart.

Not true. I hate school because of classes. I don't like wasting my time on school.

I'm 13 year old girl and the reasons I hate school: It starts early (I don't sleep much) so I'm really tired all day. I've had an argument nearly every day. Serious ones, too. I'm also having boy problems. It seems childish I know, but I'm really good with guys, but the ones I really like don't seem to like me back. I don't know what it is. When I found out one of them liked another girl, I was heartbroken and in tears for weeks. And every time I go back to school, it just seems like another word for a problem that doesn't need to be caused.

Homework. I get almost six pieces a day. It stinks and takes up most of my spare time at home and like I said, I hardly get enough sleep as it is. And that's without doing things like hanging out with my friends, going shopping, etc. The reason I don't get much sleep is because I'm doing my homework for hours, then by the time I'm finished, I'm shattered, yet I still end up going on Facebook for hours. I have no free time during the day, so instead of sleeping, I do what I'd want to do during the day, but obviously I can't hang out with my friends when it's late because they'd all be asleep.

I don't really get on with the teachers that well. There's maybe three or four teachers I get on with out of like, 15. We have loads more teachers than that but that's roughly the number of teachers who teach me.

My friends are in hardly any of my lessons. We've been put into sets and my friends are in one set below me. Whenever it comes to working in groups, I hate it because everyone else has people to work with. Then there's me. Very often, I have to work on my own when our teachers say go into pairs. Like I said, I argue a lot. With people in my year and a few years above me. Usually it's me versus another six or something? It really cheers you up when you have your friends around.

Then there's the creepy people: boys who follow you around and make you want to scream. This guy I went out with a few months ago (we only went out for a week then I dumped him). Anyway, I dumped him because he was too clingy, if you know what I mean. I had no time whatsoever with my friends. We were together every break and lunch. Then he started coming over after school. He got on my school bus. It got way annoying for me. He was driving me crazy. So then I told him after a week that we were through. All he ever did was whine and complain about everything, and when we were going out, I'd try and secretly ditch him to hang with my friends, but he'd always find me. Then he'd be like "Why did you ditch me? Why didn't you answer my phone calls?" Then I'd say, "I'm just hanging with my girl friends (friends who are girls) and you call me all day long, come on. I'm not yours to own." Then I told him we were through and we had like a World War III, literally. One of his friends told me he said he'd rape me unless I went back out with him, but to be honest, I had that, "I really don't give a bleep” attitude. His friend obviously cares about me more than he does.

So now he's trying to be friends again. It started when he added me on facebook a few days ago. I sent him a message saying, “Why did you add me? We like hate each other," and he replied, "I just want to be mates" so I was like O.K. So then he started calling me hon, babe, honey and all that and putting X's on everything. Then he's trying to hang with me at school and I said OK, but he and my friends don't get on very well. I shouldn't get on with him either but I can't hate him forever, right? So I was hanging around with him yesterday and he was being really clingy again. He started asking if he could come over. I told him no because I had loads of homework. Now he's hanging with me every break and lunch again. It's been two days now and it's driving me nuts already! I love hanging with my girl friends at school. It's always really funny and I don't have to worry about anything. We tell each other everything and we always stick up for each other no matter what, so that way we all feel safe. There's some pretty dangerous kids in my high school.

Like I said, I don't get much time to hang with them after school because of my homework, so school is the only time I get to see them unless I leave all my homework for the next day but then I'd fall behind. My mom takes my phone from me when I'm doing my homework so I can't text them. It's really important to have close friends in high school. You never know what's coming, especially with boys.

Now I'm an Animal (Kesha fan), everything is so much easier. She was bullied in school. She has two songs about it: Backstabber and Stuck Up. She was also quite poor when she was younger. and just look at her now: rich, famous, millions of fans. She also dropped out in 10th grade. You don't have to have school to be successful. I would have thought this is what everyone thinks about school (not needing school to be successful) but I'm guessing they couldn't think of a way to prove it. Well, here it is.

Another reason kids might hate school is because they might be being stalked, threatened or afraid of teachers or a teacher. In our school, the history teacher is a total perv. Hope I helped.

I took my son out of school in the UK, at the age of seven when he had a teacher that he didn't get on with and after six month this his confidence plummeted and branded him at school. I home schooled him for two years, and put his basic reading and writing skills in place and then he integrated well back into a different primary school with a more creative and diverse approach.

Home schooling was a great option then, even though it limited my work considerably and keeping his social connections alive took more effort on my part. However, I believe it saved him from spiraling downwards to completely hating school and gave him the possibility to embrace it positively again at age 9.

My son hates school. He is nine now and in third grade. He prefers to stay home than take part in whatever is scheduled at school, and even absent during exams if we don't follow up on him. What shall I do? I have planned to leave him at home for the next year so that he may realize the difference and get the initiative to go to school. What do you say? Please forward your comments about my idea.

Some kids hate school because they feel that school is unnecessary and useless.

Make your kids go to school, and discipline them if they don't. It's the only solution. Otherwise, they may grow up to be some very difficult, lazy and annoying teenagers.

And remember don't feed them McDonald's. It's scientifically proven that junk food makes the brain slow due to lack of vitamins, proteins and. pretty much everything else but sugar and fat.

Also, they might have a problem at school. Maybe they're being mocked or do not have any friends. It could result in some kind of depression or stress caused in school.

By the way: don't let your kids play the following games: World of Warcraft, Diablo, League of Legends and any other mmorpg/mmorpg; it will cause depression and laziness, plus they'll lose their friends and get fat and stuff. They will pretty much ruin their lives. And if they're already are playing one or more of these games, you'll need to seek counseling.

Your 13 year old son is probably afraid of someone in his class, maybe the bully, or the teacher. Maybe he's experiencing some difficulty with homework, or girls or something. Try playing a game with him, and when he's really concentrating, ask him if he likes any girls in his class, followed up by deeper questions like, is anybody mocking you. Good luck. Morten R.

If your child is hating school you need to be on the lookout for depression. Whatever the cause, going through school depressed is going to have a huge impact on their future. Get them help now. Don't wait.

Yeah, homeschooling is an outstanding alternative for kids that can't stand school. You can try to argue with them, but if they are unhappy, they simply won't be successful. Look into home-schools and/or charter schools! --Ryan T.

You know, with regards to middle and high school, every school really is different and there are finally options.

If your kids hate the local school, absolutely look into charter schools and even home study programs. I teach high school math and science and absolutely don't blame the kids who don't like what it has become.

I'd rather see my kids in a tiny school with fewer friends, but happy, than have them be lost in the large mill that many schools have become. Good luck. Ryan T., author of "In Defense of the American Teen"

My son is 5 in kindergarten, loved preschoool. but now he finds school boring. I have no idea what i can do to make him find school interesting. He is very bright, but every morning, its the same thing over and over. Ever since kindergarten started he has found school boring. I am pulling my hair out! I don't know what to do!

Ask him if he's got friends at school.

I am ten and i hate school but if you get to listen and concentrate then you are able to like school. The key to liking school is to have loads of friends.

I went through the same thing with my son now 13 and pulled him out and home schooled. Year and half later we are actually considering unschooling. This book might help online "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education."

My child is in the fourth grade and dislikes school. I've talked to other parents in his class. Their children also dislike the particular teacher he has. She constantly punishes the class by not allowing indoor or outdoor recess. She makes them work right through it. She refuses to have meetings with parents. Always has an excuse. Maybe it's your teacher.

My bright little boy started school a year and a half ago since the moment he started his behavior changed the teacher referred him to a communication specialist and they assessed him for asperger's when they did they found his comprehension of the world was three years above his age.

He started in Sept with a new teacher and within three weeks he was doing so well and the teacher loves him. We took him away on holiday (in term time, as we are building our own house and can't go in summer holidays) and when he has gone back to school he has reverted to the same behavior the teacher thinks he is choosing to ignore what she has asked of him.

They are being firm but fair and trying to deal with him in the same way they did in sept. Why is he acting this way? He is a lovely boy, a bright boy.

my son is 8, and he does show traits of autism although not enough to be autistic. He hates school, always has. cries and runs away every day. He makes me feel like a failure in front of the other moms at the school. I bribe him constantly daily to go to school, and it costs me a fortune.

He is destructive, cuts everything up, draws everywhere. Today i have asked the sen teacher to find him a chore to do every morning to make him feel it's important for him to go to school to make sure the job gets done. One day it will all turn good but for now i live in hope.

My daughter is 15, and she hates school. The peer pressure is great. She feels like she does not fit in at all. She cries on the way to school. I would have to walk her to class. It hurts my heart to see her miserable.

What about homeschooling your children?

My child hated school and was angry all the time. We took him out of the system and we have never looked back.

He is a happy well adjusted teen now. He makes friends easily and now enjoys life. I love having him home so much we now homeschool all our children. Lots of social events and out of school sports fix all the "what about socialisation" questions and the kids just get so much out of it and so do I. I hated maths at school and now I actually get it.

My daughter is 12. She's in 7th grade and is going to a new school. Once she reached 7th grade, she has become a demon child, she hates going to school, and I have no idea why! She never does her homework and she used to be a straight A student. It's causing so much stress in our family. Help!

My daughter is in her teens and is finding it very hard at school. On Sunday night she was crying and said she was depressed. One of the reasons was because she hated school. She hated everything about it. She hated the lessons, the teachers, traveling to school and coming home from school. She is always finding it hard to concentrate during the lessons. She is very sensitive at the moment and she has missed out on so much lately her attendance is very low as well.

She has had a lot of troubles in the past she has seen a teacher and spoke about her problems. She got put in a group at school but she refused to talk to them. she only wanted the one teacher as she finds it hard to get along with people.

I don't think changing schools would help. she is the type of child who will hate any school she goes to. but she wants a good education and she wants to do well in GCSE and she doesn't want to miss out on any of the trips in school, or prom. Please help.

my son is eight and school has turned him into a demon child. he says he gets bullied and made fun of. It's a fight every day to get him to go. it's having a huge effect on our home life also. he is destructive and not responsive to discipline. here's a funny, loving little boy gone bad because of constantly being picked on by his peers. His self esteem is gone. pray for him. c Bruno

My little boy is only four and just started reception. For the first three weeks he loved it, then it all changed.

He started getting bullied by the older children in the playground and one child in his class punched him in the face. Even though I pointed out each incident to the teachers and they assured me they would look after him, they did nothing. My little boy would even try and run away.

We are on holiday at the moment and when we return he is going to a different school but i am still really worried. When we visited the school for the morning he cried three times even with me there.

my son is seven, he started out loving school but by the end of first grade he hates it. we have to fight him to go.

i keep trying to tell the teacher something is wrong, but the only thing she says is he just doesn't pay attention. this is a kid who still writes yet, i talk to his after school care provider who helps with his homework and she says she never sees a problem. what can i do?

My son is a child with Autism and hates school as well. He was homeschooled for four years and is now in a school with other children with autism. He claims that he hated homeschool and hates this school even more.

This is so frustrating.

On one hand, we want our children to enjoy their days while they learn and on the other hand, we know our children need to learn and grow and sometimes discomfort is involved.

Maybe I should have taken the advice of a psychologist who told me when our son was five to "start my own school"!

This whole article is a big pile of feel-good nonsense designed to make parents blameless for a dysfunctional home environment. If all else fails, the child then has ADD or ADHD so put him on either Ritalin or Strattera. This is total nonsense in most cases. These medications should only be used if it is determined that there is no relevant dysfunctionality in the home.

There isn't that much you can do if the child isn't motivated. Drugs become the panacea for home failure.

Parents can then send the child off to a mental health professional but the reality is, the whole family has to go.

Our son is 13 and feels like everyone, teachers and students alike, hate him. He seems to do everything he can to get kicked out of class. We take him to a mental health specialist, we've asked for a psycho/ed evaluation. I'm sitting here in tears because I just had yet another phone call from the principal.

My son is the same. He is 12 and cries all the time. He gets angry when i tell him he has to go and thinks i want to send him there to make him unhappy. He is bullied a lot and it puts a lot of stress on the whole family. The bullies have followed him home and gather outside the house causing trouble, too. I need help.

My daughter is 10 and in fourth grade and this Monday is the start of school. From pre-school on, she has hated school. What can i do? It is back to "you're going now." Again. Help please.

My son hated school from the first day. Five years later he still hated it. He found the work difficult and the teachers would get annoyed with him for being slow at completing things.

Eventually, after many meetings with teachers, I decided that the only solution was to home school him. Although this has been difficult, my son worked hard and he has just completed his exams and has a place at college. I know I did the right thing for my son in taking him out of school. Sometimes school just doesn't work.

My heart goes out to any parents who find themselves in this situation.

my son is only six but he finds school very uninteresting and makes little effort to do his best, though he works great with me at home. I can't tell if this is normal, or if it is right for me to be anxious that his attitude will become permanent.

My son is the same, 12 starting high school, cries all the time, is overreacting to everything, feels overwhelmed and is making life hard for his siblings.

We have talked to the school and they say this is normal and that he is doing 'well'. We have tried to help him with time management, talking through situations, even sitting with him to do homework but he just 'fights' the whole way.

He feels like everyone is against him both at school and at home. I don't know what to do.

help. my son is 13 and hates school. he has school counseling and i have had a word with his teachers he keeps crying when you mention school. I don't know what to do.