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What Are the Best Tips for Marriage Self-Help?

By Patti Kate
Updated Jan 29, 2024
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Marriage self-help techniques can be learned by reading various articles and books. Although marriage therapy can be successful for some couples, this may not provide the best solution for all marriages. Many experts agree, communication plays an integral role in marriage self-help. Both partners need to be committed to improving their marriage. Discovering ways to enhance a relationship before problems arise can also be an effective strategy.

Mutual respect is an essential element to maintaining a strong marriage. While a couple might not agree on every matter, both partners must respect the other's opinion to maintain a healthy relationship. This means listening to the other person's concerns, beliefs, ideas, and fears. Couples who enjoy a successful marriage do not make the mistake of berating a partner's thoughts or beliefs. An important aspect of marriage self-help is appreciating each other's ideas and embracing diversity.

Experts agree a successful marriage requires equal parts of give and take. There are times when compromise will be necessary to keep a relationship well balanced and harmonious. Partners who give of themselves equally will be rewarded by knowing they have enriched their marriage.

Acceptance is an important aspect of marriage self-help. Partners who accept each other as they are often enjoy a healthy relationship. It's important not to view a personality trait as a flaw, but as a unique part of who a person is. Part of acceptance is the willingness to forgive a partner's small mistakes or imperfections.

One important rule for a maintaining a healthy marriage is to find time for each other. Enjoying activities both partners enjoy as a couple can strengthen a marriage. Designating a special day together without interference from work, children, or other distractions can help reinforce a bond.

A small romantic gesture or token of affection can keep things on the right track. An unexpected phone call during the day just to say "I love you" can mean a great deal, but this practice is often forgotten in a marriage. Self-help strategies such as subtle gestures expressed every day can improve a marriage.

More insight on marriage self-help can be found in various publications. Local libraries and bookstores have a wide array of books dedicated to marriage self-help strategies. The Internet can also be a useful tool for finding advice on improving a marriage. Some marriage self- help guides can be downloaded online. An e-book can be less expensive than buying a hardcover or paperback, and it is more discreet.

WiseGeek is dedicated to providing accurate and trustworthy information. We carefully select reputable sources and employ a rigorous fact-checking process to maintain the highest standards. To learn more about our commitment to accuracy, read our editorial process.
Discussion Comments
By Sporkasia — On Sep 03, 2014

I don't believe in love at first sight. I don't believe there is only one right person in the world for me. I do believe that the biggest step you can take toward a long and healthy marriage happens before you marry. Choose a person you respect and like as much as you love him, and you have a better chance of surviving marriage. That's my best self help marriage tip.

By Animandel — On Sep 02, 2014

All of the self help tips suggested in this article are good ways to make an attempt at strengthening your marriage. I agree that communication is one of the most important parts of marriage. However, I also think that both people in a marriage are going to change over the years and this is one of the biggest reasons marriages fail.

I know this isn't the right thing to say, but I think my husband and I would have grown apart in our marriage if we had not had our children to keep us on the same path. I'm not suggesting that you should have kids to help your marriage, but they do keep you focused on the same goals. You and your partner have to be a team and you have to have one another's back to raise the kids.

By Drentel — On Sep 01, 2014

The best self help for your marriage is for you to be true to yourself. Yes, you have to compromise and you have to communicate and work at the relationship. However, what I learned is that sometimes the best step you can take for your marriage is to walk away from it.

I know too many people who are miserable and have been miserable in their marriages for years but they believe they have to "keep working at it." How are you supposed to enjoy marriage when you are always busy working at making it work? You have to know when to throw in the towel, and move on.

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