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What Should I Expect from Sex While Breastfeeding?

Traci Behringer
Traci Behringer

As one might expect, many new mothers preoccupy themselves with making sure that their baby is growing up healthy. A baby requires such a large amount of attention in these early years that the idea of sex while breastfeeding might seem inconceivable to some mothers. In fact, it is common for a new mother not to be interested in lovemaking during this period of time. What you can expect from sex while breastfeeding is for it to be less intense, possibly less enjoyable and maybe even more emotional because of the changes in your body and the additional concerns on your mind. Milk leaking from your breasts during sex also might be expected.

The physical effects of breastfeeding include an unusual distribution of two particular hormones. The first one is oxytocin, otherwise known as the "love hormone." This greatly contributes to the strong desires that a mother has to cuddle her new baby, but it also affects her libido while breastfeeding. This is largely because of the likelihood of milk leaking during sex while breastfeeding. Mothers can wear a bra during lovemaking to prevent this from being a problem, and it also helps to wear nursing pads beneath the fabric.

Nursing mothers may not be as interested in sex due to pain associated with breastfeeding.
Nursing mothers may not be as interested in sex due to pain associated with breastfeeding.

The other hormone affected during this period is estrogen. Lowered during breastfeeding, a shortage of estrogen can lead to ovulation stopping, along with vaginal dryness. In this case, lubricant is a new mother's best friend. A generous amount should be applied before intimate activities.

A new mother might feel over-touched after birth. This is because she must constantly care for her new baby, holding and keeping him or her close. By the end of the day, a new mother might find herself longing for a little free time where she doesn't need to be touched so often, which doesn't bode well for her partner.

Some mothers don't want to be touched much after giving birth, which can be difficult for their partners.
Some mothers don't want to be touched much after giving birth, which can be difficult for their partners.

Another thing to expect from sex while breastfeeding is pain reducing your interest in the activity. Not only is giving birth painful, but breastfeeding can be painful at first, too. With the addition of neck pain and back pain from nursing or a headache from not sleeping, interest in sex while breastfeeding can really take a tumble.

Despite all of the problems that can get in the way of new mothers having sex while breastfeeding, it can still happen. As long as her partner understands what a new mother is feeling, and as long as her partner doesn't try to persuade her into activities for which she might not be ready, a couple can gradually work toward resuming sexual activity. It also important for a new mother to still try to have gentle relations; not only does this help her regain interest, it also can help maintain a happy relationship.

Discussion Comments

Animandel

When I was breast feeding, I never understood why I felt the way I did, and why I was less interested in sex. I think all new mothers and fathers should have this information. In my opinion, breastfeeding is one of the biggest joys of life and I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on it, regardless of the side effects and challenges that come with it.

Drentel

@Laotionne - I agree that men do expect things to go back to normal after a kid is born. I certainly did. I was young, and rather than enjoying my wife's pregnancy I was just counting the days until it was over and she would go back to the way she was when we first married.

Unfortunately, after the baby arrived, there was a new normal. However, the good news is that if you hang in there until you get all the kids out of the house things change again. Once the kids grew up and moved out, our lives were closer to what I remembered when we first married, but better because we were wiser, and we had learned not to get all excited and upset about the small things in life.

Laotionne

Everything changes after you have a baby. The article explains why and how sex while breastfeeding can change sex once you have a baby, but there are other things that make sex different, too. After a woman pushes out a baby, her body changes.

As bad is this may sound, I think one of the biggest reasons men have affairs after a baby is born is because they are expecting everything to be like it was before the woman got pregnant, and then when it is not the same men think that makes it OK to cheat. Well, maybe they don't think it is OK, but they can use that as an excuse.

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    • Nursing mothers may not be as interested in sex due to pain associated with breastfeeding.
      By: Svetlana Fedoseeva
      Nursing mothers may not be as interested in sex due to pain associated with breastfeeding.
    • Some mothers don't want to be touched much after giving birth, which can be difficult for their partners.
      By: Sandor Kacso
      Some mothers don't want to be touched much after giving birth, which can be difficult for their partners.
    • For a women that's breast feeding, vaginal lubricant may be necessary for intimate activities.
      By: igorborodin
      For a women that's breast feeding, vaginal lubricant may be necessary for intimate activities.
    • Many women find their libido is reduced after giving birth and while breastfeeding.
      By: Anatoly Tiplyashin
      Many women find their libido is reduced after giving birth and while breastfeeding.
    • Some new mothers who breastfeed their children experience pain in the neck and back area.
      By: Yanik Chauvin
      Some new mothers who breastfeed their children experience pain in the neck and back area.