At WiseGEEK, we're committed to delivering accurate, trustworthy information. Our expert-authored content is rigorously fact-checked and sourced from credible authorities. Discover how we uphold the highest standards in providing you with reliable knowledge.
What is a Long Distance Marriage?
Mary McMahon
Mary McMahon
A long distance marriage is a marriage in which the partners live at separate addresses, typically at a great distance from each other. Such arrangements can be found in many parts of the world, and married couples embark upon them for a variety of reasons. A number of conditions must be met for a long distance marriage to be effective; the most important is probably a deep sense of commitment to the relationship, along with a willingness to foster open lines of communication.
One of the most common reasons for a long distance marriage is dual careers; a dual career couple may be forced to live apart to further the careers of both members. Academics, for example, may have teaching positions at different institutions, and members of the military cannot always ensure that they are sent to the same posting, especially as they move up in military ranks.
A long distance marriage may also occur when one partner has a demanding career which requires travel, as all sailor's wives know. Journalists may also be involved in long distance marriages, as they may live in remote locations for six months or more while they gather material and report on breaking news. Some specialists also find themselves in similar positions, as they are asked to travel to various locations to meet the needs of clients.
Typically, a couple involved in a long distance marriage will try to make time for visits. In some cases, the couple may meet in various locations around the world, and in other instances, one person may travel to be with the other for a set period of time every year or every few months. The two households are run largely independently, although one couple may rely on the other to look after a house or apartment during periods of extended travel.
Long distance marriages are not for everyone. They do require a great deal of sacrifice, along with a deep sense of commitment to the partner involved. Being in a long distance marriage will not necessarily increase the risk of infidelity and other issues, but these issues should certainly be addressed when a couple sits down to negotiate the terms of a long distance marriage. Couples who face a situation where they may be forced to live apart are encouraged to seek professional counseling, along with advice from people in similar situations.
Mary McMahon
Ever since she began contributing to the site several years ago, Mary has embraced the exciting challenge of being a WiseGEEK researcher and writer. Mary has a liberal arts degree from Goddard College and spends her free time reading, cooking, and exploring the great outdoors.
Learn more...
Mary McMahon
Ever since she began contributing to the site several years ago, Mary has embraced the exciting challenge of being a WiseGEEK researcher and writer. Mary has a liberal arts degree from Goddard College and spends her free time reading, cooking, and exploring the great outdoors.
Learn more...AS FEATURED ON:
AS FEATURED ON:
-
![Spouses in a long distance marriage can communicate through email or online chat.]()
By: Peter AtkinsSpouses in a long distance marriage can communicate through email or online chat. -
![A couple may face a long distance marriage if called upon for military service.]()
By: jinga80A couple may face a long distance marriage if called upon for military service. -
![Long distance marriages involve a deep sense of commitment to the partner involved.]()
By: Minerva StudioLong distance marriages involve a deep sense of commitment to the partner involved. -
![Spouses in a long distance marriage can arrange for flowers or other gifts to be sent.]()
By: neirfySpouses in a long distance marriage can arrange for flowers or other gifts to be sent. -
![Being in a long distance marriage will not necessarily increase the risk for infidelity.]()
By: Jasmin MerdanBeing in a long distance marriage will not necessarily increase the risk for infidelity. -
![Distance can be difficult on a marriage if the partners do not communicate well.]()
By: MartinanDistance can be difficult on a marriage if the partners do not communicate well.
Discussion Comments
@purplespark- I am not completely disagreeing with you, but my daughter and her husband had been married for 13 years. For the most part, they got along great. They had 3 children and were active in their church.
I do agree that people get lonely. However, before he left, their marriage was a strong one.
@malena- I think that whether the long term relationship will work is determined by the strength of the relationship in the first place. Also, we as humans, get lonely. It is our nature to thrive for attention and companionship. It can be difficult being the one left behind without that intimacy that we are accustomed to.
@malena- My daughter married a man who was in the Army reserve. He had a full time job as a welder. He only served one weekend out of each month.
The opportunity came along for him to go to Korea for one year. It was not mandatory. It was a voluntary assignment but they got paid a nice chunk of change to do it. After they, as a family, sat down and discussed it, they determined that it was the best thing to do, financially speaking.
He was allowed to call home 2-3 times a week. After a while, the phone calls stopped coming in. He would have many different reasons as to why. To make a long story short, he found a girlfriend over there and my daughter is now a divorced mom.
So, to your question, "do long distance relationships work long term"; I'm sure there are some that do. Unfortunately, for my daughter, it did not.
Can long distance relationships really work long term?
Post your comments