How do I Treat Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is a problem for many men, particularly younger men. It is defined in different ways and can sometimes loosely be referred to as ejaculation prior to the desire of a man and his partner. Such a loose timeframe, which could range from seconds to half an hour, is a little deceiving; men may feel that ejaculation must take place after a specific time period and this could lead them to inappropriately self diagnose it. A better definition is to say that premature ejaculation occurs within about one minute of intercourse beginning, or may occur prior to intercourse even starting. There are many potential ways to treat premature ejaculation of this type.

One way to treat premature ejaculation is to work on not ejaculating quickly during masturbation. There are specific methods that can be taught, which direct the man to masturbate just to the point of ejaculation without doing so. These methods are thought to establish better control, though they do not always work.

A similar idea involves the man’s partner, who at points during sexual play or intercourse holds the penis in a specific squeeze pattern. This can slow down urge to ejaculate. It may be repeated and can lengthen the time of intercourse.

Another recommendation to treat premature ejaculation is to undergo therapy on this issue of several specific types. Some believe psychotherapy is most helpful, as issues of prematurely ending intercourse may be tied to feelings of shame, and ultimately to inadequacy when the experience keeps recurring. Others believe that this problem is better addressed with a therapist specializing in sex therapy.

Even if work with psychotherapists or sex therapists is not the only treatment, it may be useful. This condition has significant stigma associated with it, and many men feel that inability to control ejaculation or to satisfy a partner detracts from their masculinity and sense of self. This can be a vicious cycle, where feelings of inadequacy continue to grow as failure to perform as expected is repeated.

Some additional ways to treat premature ejaculation have arisen in recent times. Increasingly, it’s suggested that men take certain forms of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). SSRIs may lengthen sexual experience by better controlling serotonin levels, but some of them also have an impact on sexual desire, reducing it. For the man with this condition, reducing libido can actually be a positive thing, as foreplay or early sexual activity may not cause as great a response.

Another suggestion to treat premature ejaculation is to use topical medicines that desensitize penis sensation. There are some condoms that contain these medicines. Direct application is usually not desirable because it will desensitize the partner too.

Partners are important in this process and can make a huge difference in success rate in dealing with this issue. They might need to put up with some breaks from sex, some stop/start methods, or a variety of other attempts to work on the problem. Doing so with a loving heart and patience, so that they in no way contribute to a person feeling greater inadequacy, may be the most helpful thing to do. It’s also useful to remind a man with this condition that sexual pleasure is not limited to intercourse, and forgoing the expectation of intercourse while giving a partner space and time to work this out, may be deeply supportive.