How Do I Find a Birth Mother?

Both adoptees and prospective adopting families may want to find a birth mother. Adoptees who are beginning a birth mother search should consult their adoption agencies, search and register on free online adoption databases, or consult search agencies. Prospective adoptive families who want to find a birth mother should look into reputable adoption agencies, consult websites, or consider placing advertisements to get in touch with birth parents.

People who were adopted when young may have been part of a closed adoption, in which the birth parents and adoptive parents did not have contact with each other. If this is the case, these people will never have met their birth mother and the adoptive parents will not have her contact information. To begin a birth mother search in this situation, the adoptee should first try to contact the agency from which he or she was adopted. The agency might have information on the birth parents or other contacts and advice for how to find a birth mother.

If the adoption agency is unable to give out the information, free websites and registries might be a good option. There are several online platforms that adopted individuals can use to search for their birth parents, create a profile with their own information, and connect with others in the search process. Since many of these databases are widely known, they may be successful or provide individuals with lists of other reputable search agencies.

Professional search agencies are another option for adoptees who want to find a birth mother. Search companies and confidential intermediaries (CIs) will be able to continue a search, sometimes using court files from the adoption to locate the birth parents. While sometimes costly, there are also free search programs, known as search angels, which can help adopted individuals locate their birth families.

Adoptive parents looking to find a birth mother can use adoption agencies, advertisements, or various online platforms to meet prospective birth parents. Many families appreciate the comfort, security, and confidentiality offered by adoption agencies, and others want the freedom and flexibility to conduct a birth mother search on their own through networking or advertising. The service used will also depend on if the prospective family prefers an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. Self-conducted searches, advertisements, and many websites will involve contact with potential birth mothers, while some adoption agencies will honor a family's request for a closed adoption, in which they do not have identifying information about the birth mother.